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I recently came across an article on Robert Vallerand’s Dualistic Model of Passion, which made me think deeply about how passion shapes our lives. Passion can be an incredible driver of success, but it can also turn on us, leaving us drained, exhausted, and disconnected from the very things that once lit us up.
Reflecting on times in my life, I realised passion often felt like fuel to a fire, driving me forward—until it wasn’t. There were moments when what once energised me became overwhelming. Passion, it turns out, is a double-edged sword—it drives us… until it doesn’t.
Two Sides of Passion: Harmonious vs. Obsessive
Vallerand’s model breaks passion into two forms: harmonious and obsessive. This distinction resonates with many entrepreneurs, founders, and high achievers who often walk a fine line between the two.
Harmonious Passion
This is the sweet spot. Harmonious passion energises you without taking over your life. It’s where you feel driven and focused yet still make time for what’s important—family, fun, and downtime. You’re in control, and your thinking remains sharp and balanced. Think of it as being in a state of flow where you’re giving your best without burning out. You love what you’re doing, but it doesn’t define your self-worth.
Quick tip: Protect this balance by scheduling time for activities that allow you to disconnect and reset.
Obsessive Passion
Here’s where things get tricky. Obsessive passion means your drive starts creeping into every corner of your life. You feel compelled to work harder, achieve more, and your identity becomes wrapped in your success. This can lead to burnout—something I see often in my work with leaders.
Quick tip: If your passion feels obsessive, set clear boundaries and incorporate small rituals like a daily walk or short, intentional breaks to reset your focus.
Recognising the Signs: Where Are You on the Scale?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Am I thinking about work constantly, even during downtime?
Do I feel anxious when I’m not working?
Am I neglecting activities I used to enjoy?
Do I feel more drained than energised lately?
Is my passion rooted in the meaning for external validation?
If the answer to most of these is “yes,” it’s time to re-evaluate and take steps to regain balance.
My Own Experience: Finding Balance
I’ve experienced both ends of the passion spectrum. There have been times when my work energised me, but I’ve also felt overwhelmed by the very thing that once motivated me. Mindfulness has been my anchor, helping me listen to my body and prioritise what I enjoy outside of work. Swimming, for instance, is where I recharge, reflect, and reset. Often, slowing down is the best way to move forward.
Practical Ways to Balance Passion
If you feel like your passion is leaning towards obsession, here are a few practical steps to shift it back towards harmony:
Time-block breaks: Schedule non-work activities to disconnect and recharge.
Find a creative outlet: Engage in a hobby unrelated to your work.
Practice mindfulness: Simple breathing exercises or short meditations can help you re-centre.
Do a Value and Purpose Check: Take a step back to reflect on whether your actions align with your deeper goals.
Seek outside perspectives: Talking with friends, mentors, or a coach offers valuable insights when you’re too immersed in work.
Final Thought: Fuel Your Passion Without Losing Yourself
Here’s a question to ponder (hand on your heart!): Is your passion fuelling your fire, or is it burning you out?
Balance is key to keeping passion alive without letting it consume you. Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is take a break.
If you're ready to explore your passion and keep it in harmony with the rest of your life, let’s talk! Book a complimentary discovery call with me, and let’s see how we can work together to fuel your fire without losing yourself along the way.
Further Reading
"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink
"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck
Robert Vallerand’s work on the Dualistic Model of Passion – explore his academic articles for a deeper dive into harmonious and obsessive passion.
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