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A recent coaching session left me deeply reflective. One of my clients, a senior executive, said something that really stayed with me: “Your ability to share your own vulnerabilities makes it easier for me to trust myself in this process.” Their words were both humbling and powerful, and they inspired this blog.
In leadership and life, vulnerability is a fascinating paradox. On the one hand, it creates connection, fosters trust, and invites authenticity. On the other, it can feel risky—especially in a world that rewards certainty and strength. How do you reveal enough to build trust while maintaining your credibility?
Many of my executive clients wrestle with this tension, often asking:
❓ How can I be vulnerable without appearing weak?
❓ How much is too much?
❓ Will I lose respect if I admit I don’t have all the answers?
Why Vulnerability Matters
As Brené Brown says:
"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome."
Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s courage. Leaders who dare to be vulnerable create the foundation for trust, collaboration, and innovation. It’s in moments of admitting mistakes or uncertainties that you inspire those around you.
But here’s the paradox:
Vulnerability can inspire or unsettle.
It can build bridges or expose gaps.
It’s a strength, but only when balanced with boundaries.
In my view, the key is purposeful openness. It’s not about oversharing but revealing just enough to create connection and authenticity while maintaining credibility. Vulnerability also creates space for others to step forward, inviting teams to share ideas and collaborate more freely.
Done well, vulnerability strengthens relationships and unlocks potential. Overdone, it risks eroding confidence. The balance lies in showing up with courage, boundaries, and intention—leading the way by example.
The Risks of Overdoing It
Too much vulnerability can feel like a breach of leadership confidence. Imagine a leader saying, “I’m completely overwhelmed, and I don’t know what to do next,” without offering any next steps. It may feel authentic but risks leaving their team adrift.
One client, a senior executive undergoing restructuring, shared:"I want to be relatable, but I fear being too honest might make my team question my capability."
This is the paradox of vulnerability: to connect without compromising authority.
Neuroscience Insight - Understanding the Brain's Response
Vulnerability can strengthen connections by releasing oxytocin, the "trust hormone" that fosters bonding. However, sharing too much can trigger anxiety by activating the amygdala, the brain's fear centre. Recognising this balance helps you share in ways that build trust without causing discomfort.
Finding Your ‘Goldilocks Zone’
Striking the right balance—the “just right” vulnerability—means:
Understanding Your Audience: A close-knit team may require more transparency than a broad organisation. Tailor your openness accordingly.
Balancing Openness with Solutions: Admit challenges, but share your plan for overcoming them. Vulnerability paired with action builds confidence.
Staying Real but Professional: Authenticity matters, but so does maintaining respect. Your team needs both connection and reassurance.
Practical Strategies for Balanced Vulnerability
Start Small: Test sharing in a low-risk setting. Observe how it lands.
Reflect Before Speaking: What’s your purpose? Connection? Reassurance? Inspiration?
Encourage Dialogue: Vulnerability isn’t a monologue—invite others to share their own experiences.
Pair Growth with Struggle: Show how challenges have shaped you. Your story is more powerful when it includes resilience.
Personal Reflection: My Own Leadership Journey
For years, I hesitated to share much about myself. As a coach, I felt the pressure to always appear composed, capable, and in control. Letting people see beyond that felt scary—daunting even. I wondered, “Will they respect me less if they know I’ve struggled too?”
But here’s what I’ve learned: strength and struggle coexist. I’ve had my fair share of challenges—times when things didn’t go well, when I doubted myself, and when the path forward seemed unclear. These moments shaped me. They gave me depth, resilience, and empathy.
When I started sharing these parts of my journey—carefully, with intention—I discovered something unexpected. Instead of diminishing my credibility, it strengthened my connections. Clients saw not just a coach, but a human being who understands what it means to face uncertainty and still rise.
Vulnerability is not about oversharing; it’s about choosing to reveal just enough to inspire trust and connection. And through that, I’ve realised that our struggles are not liabilities—they are the bridges that connect us to others.
Questions to Ask Yourself
What stories of vulnerability could inspire trust and connection?
How do I pair openness with a sense of calm and direction?
What boundaries allow me to feel secure when sharing?
Final Thoughts
In my view, vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s a choice, a strategy, and a strength. When used wisely, it becomes one of the most powerful tools in leadership. Balanced vulnerability has the power to transform relationships, build trust, and amplify your impact.
How will you embrace vulnerability today? Or what is your view on vulnerability?
Share your reflections below—your story might just inspire someone else’s journey. 🌟
Resources
🎥 Brené Brown’s TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability
📘 Adam Grant’s Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know
📝 The Authenticity Paradox (Harvard Business Review)
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