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Have you ever stopped to ask yourself where true confidence actually comes from? Many people see confidence as a by-product of success, experience, or skill – something that accumulates over time. However, in my experience as a coach, confidence has less to do with external achievements and more with something much deeper: aligning with what truly matters to you.
As a coach, I often work with leaders who, on paper, have it all – they’re successful, respected, and accomplished. Yet, beneath the surface, many feel uncertain or even disconnected from their own sense of self. Why? Often, it’s because their day-to-day actions don’t fully align with their core values. Authentic confidence, I believe, starts with knowing and honouring what you stand for.
When you’re connected to your values, something remarkable happens. Here’s why this alignment can be such a transformative force.
1. Self-Trust Begins to Flourish 🧠
Living by your values reinforces your sense of integrity. Each time you make a decision that aligns with what truly matters to you, you affirm your own worth and deepen your self-belief. This inner trust isn’t built overnight, but through consistently making choices that feel right, you start to trust yourself more. Instead of relying on external validation, you become your own source of confidence.
Think of self-trust like a muscle – one that grows stronger each time you act in a way that honours your principles.
2. Clarity Sharpens 🔍
When you’re clear on your values, decision-making becomes less of a mental tug-of-war. You’ve created an internal compass, a true north that guides you, allowing you to make decisions with conviction and far less self-doubt. Knowing your values frees you from the pressures and expectations of others, helping you trust your own judgement and walk your own path.
In a world that’s constantly changing, having that compass is invaluable. It enables you to filter out distractions, make choices that resonate, and stay focused on what matters.
3. Resilience Grows 💪
Life inevitably has its challenges. However, when you’re grounded in your values, you have a steady base to return to, even during the hardest times. Living by your values reduces self-doubt and lessens stress, allowing you to handle setbacks with a calm assurance that’s hard to shake.
Staying true to your values helps you maintain perspective. When things go wrong, instead of questioning your abilities or your worth, you can find solace in knowing that you’re living authentically. This alignment serves as an anchor, keeping you steady when the waters around you are anything but calm.
A Glimpse Into the Science
Neuroscience offers insights that back this up. When we act in line with our values, our brain’s reward centres are activated, releasing dopamine, which enhances motivation and positive feelings. This isn’t about superficial confidence; it’s a form of deep, lasting confidence rooted in self-respect and authenticity. When you align with your values, you’re not just ‘feeling good’ – you’re tapping into a neurological pathway that strengthens your resilience and mental clarity.
Building Confidence That Lasts
True confidence is less about ‘faking it till you make it’ and more about finding harmony between your actions and your beliefs. When you’re living in alignment with your values, confidence comes naturally because it’s grounded in who you are, not just what you do.
Building Confidence That Lasts
True confidence isn’t about plastering on a smile and simply ‘faking it till you make it.’ Instead, I firmly believe it’s about creating harmony between what you do and what you believe. It’s about taking consistent steps to live authentically and fully embracing the idea of living your values until you make it.
When you align your actions with your values, confidence flows naturally. It becomes rooted in who you are, not just what you achieve. Every action that honours your principles strengthens your foundation, making confidence something you can rely on – even in the face of challenges.
If you’re curious about this connection between values and confidence, ask yourself:
What values do you want to anchor your confidence to?
Are there areas of your life where these values could be more present?
Where have you felt most aligned with your values in the past? (I bet those are the moments where you’ll feel at your best and most confident.)
If you’d like to dive deeper into what truly matters to you and need, I would love to hear from you.
Exploring your values might just be the key to unlocking a confidence that doesn’t waver – no matter what life throws your way.
Resources to Dive Deeper Yourself
Book: Dare to Lead by Brené Brown – This book dives deep into how values-based leadership fosters confidence and clarity in navigating tough decisions.
TED Talk: What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness by Robert Waldinger – A powerful talk that explores how meaningful relationships (often guided by our values) impact confidence and fulfilment.
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