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Success is something many of us spend our lives striving for, but have you ever paused to ask yourself: What does success truly mean to me?
For me most people, success is defined by external markers—like a high-powered career, financial stability, or recognition from others. These definitions are often shaped by societal values, expectations, and what we see around us. But how often do we stop to question whether the ladder we’re climbing is leaning against the right wall? 🧗
This is exactly what I had to ask myself years ago when I was deep in my career, chasing financial goals and professional milestones. I still remember the day my coach asked me, "What does success mean to you?" I struggled to answer, realising it wasn’t just about financial achievements anymore—or maybe it never had been. Over time, I learned that success is a deeply personal concept, one that can change and evolve as we grow and reflect.
The Misconception of One-Size-Fits-All Success
We are conditioned to believe in a narrow definition of success. It often looks like a title on your business card, the salary in your bank account, or the approval you receive from your peers. But while these external accomplishments may bring a sense of achievement, they often don't provide lasting fulfilment.
Through my work with clients and my own experiences, I’ve discovered that true success cannot be boxed into a single definition. It’s ever-changing and unique to each person. In fact, when I ask many of the high-performing leaders I coach to define success for themselves, they are often surprised at how difficult it is to put into words. Why? Because their internal definition of success no longer aligns with the external image, they’ve spent years pursuing.
A Shift in Perspective: Success is Personal and Evolving
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is that success is a living, breathing concept that evolves with us. The version of success that motivated you in your twenties may look very different in your forties or fifties. And that’s okay.
For me, success has moved far beyond financial goals. While financial freedom remains important, it is only one aspect of a much broader picture. Today, true success means living in alignment with my values and purpose. It means finding joy and fulfilment in both who I am and what I do. When I reflect on the days that make me feel truly successful, it’s not just about a work achievement or a new contract signed. It’s also about the simple things, like a day spent in nature, or meaningful time with family. It’s about knowing I’m making a positive impact, both in my personal life and through my coaching work.
Defining Success Through Core Values & Purpose
So, how can we define success for ourselves, in a way that feels fulfilling and aligned with our values?
This process requires introspection, honesty, and a willingness to let go of outdated definitions that no longer serve us.
Here are a few practical steps to help you begin redefining success on your own terms:
🔍 Reflect on Peak Moments:
Think about the times in your life when you felt the most alive and fulfilled. What were you doing? Who were you with? These moments often hold the key to understanding what truly matters to you.
⚡ Notice What Energises You:
What are the activities, environments, or relationships that fill you with energy? Conversely, what drains you? Paying attention to this can reveal what is most important to you and guide you towards your own version of success.
📝 Define Your Core Values:
Take the time to identify your top five values. These are the principles that guide your decisions and influence how you show up in the world. Whether it’s family, creativity, freedom, or service, knowing your core values is essential for aligning your actions with your personal definition of success.
🎯 Clarify Your Purpose:
Ask yourself: What impact do I want to have on the world? Purpose goes beyond your immediate goals and connects to the broader meaning of your work and life. Whether it’s contributing to your community, leading with integrity, or inspiring others, having a sense of purpose brings greater meaning to success. It anchors your decisions and actions in something bigger than yourself.
🔄 Check for Alignment:
Once you have a clear understanding of your values, take a step back and assess whether your life reflects those values. Are your career, relationships, and daily choices aligned with what truly matters to you? If not, what changes could you make to bring your life into alignment?
🌱 Embrace the Evolution:
Success is not static—it grows and evolves as we do. Allow yourself the freedom to revisit your definition of success regularly. As your values and life circumstances change, so will your vision of what success looks and feels like.
How Does Success Feel?
Beyond defining success, there’s a key question many overlook: How does success feel? For me, success feels like contentment, fulfilment, and joy. It’s waking up with a sense of purpose, knowing that I’m making a difference in the lives of others. It’s feeling free to spend time with the people I love, or take a day off to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. 🛶
When we shift our focus from the external markers of success to how it feels within, we move from a place of striving to a place of thriving. Success becomes less about the destination and more about the journey.
Redefining Success During Transitions
Times of transition—whether a career change, a move to a new city, or a shift in personal priorities—offer a powerful opportunity to redefine success. These moments give us the space to pause, reflect, and ask ourselves:What does success look like for me now?What do I want from the next chapter of my life?
When we embrace these questions, we begin to see transitions not as disruptions, but as invitations to grow and realign with our deeper values and purpose.
Two Resources to Help You Redefine Success
Book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
This insightful book reveals what truly matters in the end and can help you reflect on your current priorities. It’s a reminder that success is not just about what we achieve, but how we live and love.
Article: How Will You Measure Your Life? by Clayton Christensen
This Harvard Business Review article provides a thought-provoking framework for measuring success, not just by professional achievements, but by relationships, integrity, and contribution.
An Invitation to Work with Me
If you’re feeling ready to explore your own definition of success, or perhaps you’re navigating a transition in your life, I’d love to invite you to book a Deep Conversation Session with me. Together, we can reflect on what truly matters to you and create a path forward that feels aligned and fulfilling.
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